On Respect and Kindness
I took a day off of work today due to sickness - a massive headache and a sore throat.
Still, I decided to go for a walk to the grocery store with my girlfriend in the afternoon, to buy some ginger, lemon, and tea.
On the way we had to pass through a narrow passage under some train tracks. A woman was letting her dog sniff around, taking up about half of the available space.
First we heard the bicycle bell. The boy on it was approaching the passage slowly, while continuously and intensely ringing the bell. The woman did either not understand that the ringing was meant for her, and that she was, at least to some extent, in the way. This, or she was purposefully ignoring it, not looking even in the general direction of the ringing.
Funnily, the kid had more than enough space to pass.
He rolled straight up to the woman, and while pushing his bike past her in slow motion, stared her down while continuing to ring. Unfazed, the woman continued on with her dog.
As we left the situation behind, my girlfriend and I laughed and briefly debated on what had just happened. The word that kept coming to my mind was "respect".
By demanding respect, in his perceived superiority at this point in time, the boy actually disrespected the woman. The woman, in her lack of awareness, or open defiance, disrespected the boy and possibly everyone that was trying to traverse the narrow passage.
What makes me sad is that this boy must have hardly lived enough experiences to truly understand what he was doing. Rather, in that moment, we saw a reflection, an imitation of his parents. Demanding respect by belittling others. By pointing out what the woman with her dog was doing wrong, how the boy knew better, and by teaching her a lesson on manners and correct social behavior.
What happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt? What happened to basic kindness?
Only 10 minutes later while waiting at the cash register the older man in front of us offered us a 10% discount coupon he could not combine with the other one he already had.
We happily took it and thanked him profusely 15 times (not even exaggerating).
It is interesting that I took more offense at the boy trying to prove his point than at the woman blocking the way. My main reasons are that 1) the boy had plenty of space and 2) instead of just passing made special emphasis on showing the woman she was in the wrong. There was no point to prove, there was no valid reason.
I want to be a father someday. I want to be a father that teaches his children respect, but more importantly, kindness. I don't want to be like this child, or how I imagine his parents to be. I want to be the kind, old man in the supermarket.
Why, at any point in time, must we feel like we have the moral high ground with people that we have never even seen before, or will probably never see again? That we know absolutely nothing about.
On this note, And I wish them good luck, and all the best.
I would not want to be this boy. And I wish him good luck, and all the best.